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.I shouldn t feel uneasy to be alonewith another man, and the fact that I didmade me even more uneasy. No, it s quitting time, he said fromhis office. I m out of here, too, so I llwalk you out. Reappearing with thechecked tie in place and a tweed vestinstead of his suit jacket, he held open theoffice door and waited for me.I turned off the lights and went throughthe door as fast as I could.He d put onsome cologne that was spicy and sweet-smelling, and the fact that I noticed set meon edge.We walked in silence to the elevator,and our silence dragged on while wewaited for it. Do I make you uncomfortable? Antonasked. When you ask those kinds ofquestions, yeah, you do, I said, almostbolting inside the elevator as soon as thedoors opened.Anton took one giant step inside andstopped in front of me. Why?I found it hard to believe that he neededto ask me why. Because of the wayyou re looking at me right now.Andbecause of the things you say. I took acouple steps back until I was up againstthe elevator wall. You re my boss.You re my friend s brother.You can tlook at me like that, or say those kinds ofthings to me. Why? he asked, tilting his head.His calm, one-word replies werestarting to piss me off. Because, the genius inside meanswered. I ve been in relationships with womenwho have worked with me, Lucy, hesaid, looking at me too intently. And I vebeen in relationships with my sister sfriends.Believe me, that s not what sstopping me from pursuing you.Shit.That look on his face, combinedwith the tone of his voice, made me wish Icould put another five feet of spacebetween us.Thankfully, the elevatorjostled to a stop and the doors opened.Iwas out of those doors faster than I thoughtI could move. So, yeah, there it is, Anton said,rushing up beside me.I ll take  Get aClue for a thousand, Alex. I m attractedto you, Lucy.I want to pursue you, and Iwant you to want to be pursued by me.If I didn t reply, could I wake uptomorrow and pretend none of this hadhappened? I shoved through the revolvingdoor and powered toward the Mazda. But I won t act on my attraction out ofrespect for I spun on him.This was too much, toolate in the day. Out of respect for a guywho would kill you where you stood if heever found out what you just said?He shook his head. No.Out of respectfor you.I laughed harshly. You ve got one hellof a way of showing respect for me, Isaid, fumbling with my keys. I respect you enough to tell you thetruth, he said, stepping to the side when Iswung the door open. I want you to knowyou ve got options.I bit my cheek to keep from nailing himwith words I d regret later. I don t wantoptions. Sure you do, he said. Every girldoes. And those words, paired with hisexpression, which was way toocondescending for my liking, brought thewords I d been trying to keep under wrapsright to the surface. Go fuck yourself, Anton, I fired offbefore slamming the door and peeling outof the parking lot, never once checking therearview mirror.I was quivering.Shaking from theemotions that were spilling out of me.Itfelt like every emotion possible waspresent and accounted for, although theloudest ones were anger and confusion.Anger for the obvious reasons.Anton hadno right to say those things to me, anengaged woman.Not to mention, anengaged woman who was also hisemployee.No right at all.Confusion because I didn t understandwhy Anton had said them in the first place.He was intelligent and purposeful to afault.He didn t do things on a whim, so Icould assume he d planned this wholespilling-of-the-guts elevator ride.And thatconfused and pissed me off more.My life was complicated enoughalready.I didn t need some guy I d justmet in person five days ago professing hisattraction to me.Anton either had a screwloose or was overconfident.Neither was arecipe for an acceptable  option, likehe d said.Not that I wanted options in the firstplace.Dammit.Now I was thinking aboutoptions, thanks to my lovely bossscrewing with my Friday night.I wanted to call Jude.I wanted to tellhim everything that happened andeverything I was feeling about it.I wantedto talk to my best friend about all of it.Unfortunately in this case, my best friendalso happened to be the guy I loved, andthe guy I loved would fly off the handleand across the country in a heartbeat ifhe knew any other man, Anton especially,had said those kinds of things to me.So I didn t call him.Instead I gloweredat the road and threw a few punches intothe steering wheel.By the time I got home,I felt better.And worse.Better because Ireminded myself that no matter what anyguy said or did, I d never love anyone butJude.It felt good to be reminded of this.And worse because I was going to bejobless again come Monday morning.Icouldn t.no, I wouldn t work for aman who confessed to having a thing forme.That was a whole heap of drama Ididn t need in my life right now.Not tomention I d just told my boss to fuckhimself.I might not have a ton of jobexperience, but I knew I was on my way togetting myself fired on the spot.As I headed up to my apartment, Iforced myself to shelve the Anton issueand forget about it until Sunday night,when I had to call him and tell him to putan ad in the paper for a new admin.I wasgoing to enjoy tonight.It wasn t often Iwas able to have some of my best friendsin the same place, and I wasn t going toruin it by moping.So Anton was attracted to me.Big deal.It was a free country and he could beattracted to whomever he wanted.As ofright now, his attraction was out of mymind.Heading down the hall, I could alreadysmell dinner and hear laughter streamingfrom the apartment.I was grinning by thetime I opened the door. Aunt Luce! LJ greeted me as soon asI came through the door, like he wasstanding guard. LJ! I greeted him back, sniffing theair.Chicken enchiladas, one of my faves. Right this way, he said in a dignifiedvoice, before grabbing my hand andpulling me into the bathroom. What are you up to, crazy man? Ilaughed as he towed me along.He wasstrong for an almost-four-year-old. I picked out some jammies andslippers for you, he said, pointing at thembalanced on the sink ledge. Once you recomfy, we can have some dinner and I lleven bring you your plate. His face wasso lit up with excitement, it rubbed off onme. Thank you, kind sir, I said, bowingformally [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]